"do you feel awkward?"

Last night.. err tuesday night, was a failed success. Doesn't make sense but who cares. Dance was a fail. Hell no, I'm not waiting in line for two hours just to pay $15 to dance to techno with sweaty gay guys who are just too touchy. So we decide to go another day and Ian Abot texts us if we wanna hang out and we're like "well, got nothin' else to do." And after about an hour of not figuring out what to do we decided to just meet up at someone's house and figure it out there. And that was another fail. We were like "who's house? who's house?" I was like whatever, let's go to Starbucks. I get there a little early and my dad dropped me off. Curt was supposedly the only one there and I'm walking towards Starbucks when I hear "Lauren!" And he's there, chilllin' like a cool cat in his car. He told me to get in but when I was getting in my dad was still there and I'm pretty sure he saw me. Hahaha, sketchy? But then Tiffany came and we went to get out cofffeee. And we stayed outside just talking talking talking, youuu know. Daryl showed up and good thing we all clicked or it'd been so .. lame. Haha. Fuckin' Daryl and his scary stories, shiiit. And then allll of a sudden, it was like a Nobel reunion or someshit. Andrew Versales rolls up in his " 'stang" and then Brock Covington starts walking towards us. What the heckkk. Andrew came and talked to us for a little. But yeah, more scary stories. Thank God I was sleeping over Tiff's, shoot. I would not have been able to sleep. So we're there for like three hours already, still no idea on what to do. And it's so so so cooold! So we end up going to Denny's and I order the sampler. Oh my, I ate like two mozarella sticks and half a chicken strip and I was dooone. Curt goes to the bathroom and comes back and he's like "So, I was in the bathroom and halfway during my.. business.. there's a guy in the stall and he's like talking to himself while he's taking a dump. He was like 'Oh yes, baby. We can do it, ughhh'" HAHAHA. And so we literally spent the rest of our time there waiting for him to come out. "Num-ber two! Num-ber two!" Oh myy. We definitely need to do that again. Little coffee get togethers, aw cute. (:
So on our way home, it's just our luck that we're the only ones on the road and every light turns red. And Tiff starts like freaking out, locking the doors, rolling the windows up and she's like "OMG is that guy wearing a mask? What the fuck! Oh shit he's looking at me! Oh, what the fuuuck!" And by this time I see that she's talking about a guy riding his bike and he's already like past the car. I look back and that bitch looks back at the car! Freakin' after all the stupid scary stories we haaave to see him.
We get to Tiffany's and after settling down we went down stairs and watched some tv. We made brownies and sprinkled like marshmallows on top. 27 dresses came on so we watched that. Them brownies were the sweetest things! I couldn't even finish one, haha. The movie ended at like three so we went to her room and got into beddd. We ended up just watching more tv, hahaha. And then I had to use the ladies room haha. Her dog like attacked me, hahaha. After that little fiasco and addressing my battle scars we went to the bed agaiiin. We didn't end up sleeping until like five. Ooh my. Successful night!

I hope everyone had a safe and exciting New Year's! Try to be most optimistic for this year, let's make it better then 2008!
(:

hm

I'm just passing time until I can take a shower. Blahblahblah. We're supposed to go to the Griffith Observatory but I'm not so excited. My brothers never fail to upset me in the morning, haha. But also i have so much to do today. Dance later! Hopefully. And sleepover at Tiff's. Hopefully, haha.


I'm still tired!

awh, my boys.

Yeah so I was feelin' pretty down earlier. And it wasn't until I was leaving my grandma's after doing some errands that I felt better. Teo texted me and our conversation just made me laugh. Haha even if it wasn't in good humor. "Umm, I'm bored, make me baked goods." Anywayyy, I told him to come to the house and then Ian called, haha. He was like "Lauren, we're going to your house?" Aha. But yeah, I appreciate them so so so much. Like there was once I was recovering from a good cry in econ., yeah I know it's lame but it happened. And then Ian told me afterwards "Are you okay? I felt so bad for you, like I wanted to cry too." And bitchass Teo. Yeah, he's a punk most of the time, but in the end I know he's gonna tell it straight. They look after me and that's all I needed.



Ay yai yai. Movie night continues when Ian gets back from his game.
Come if you want! Starts at seven (:

ew

In all this change, there are just some people who stay the same. I would think by a certain age you learn to be the better person and save your words rather than make people feel like shit. Ugh, whatever. Like Destiny's Child told me, I'm not gonna blast you on the internet 'cause my momma taught me better than that.

Well last night and this morning were killlljoys. I fucking hate that shit. I really do hope 2009 has something better in store for me.

There's still so much I want to do this break. Like movie nights! And little dinner dates. And I have to get working on that physics project, ew. Whatever.

"Cheer up, Buttercup."

success!

Well, I am officially most satisfied. I think. Unless I screw it up again by speaking too soon.

So, a while back, I decided to save all my the money I would get from Christmas and use it towards buying a new phone. At first I thought I wouldn't be able to get it done 'cause I was getting really cute gifts rather than money, you know? But! Resisting the temptation to buy all the other cute things on sale today, I got my Blackberry Bold. I am so so so SO so so happy. And that's not even it! When I told my dad about my plan, he was like "why don't you just get a laptop or something?" 'cause we saw that at Living Spaces they were selling laptops for $295. And it was very tempting, let me tell you, but I decided to stay with plan a. And so this morning my mom comes into my room and she wakes me up, telling me to go into the kitchen. They bought it for me! Ahh, all these things that I've needed for the longest I finally got. This was a verrry successful holiday and I am more than content. Except, I did lose $10 at Vallarta today, haha. Oh well, at least I made someone else ten bucks richer. Money's tight!

merrrry christmas!

Why, no, it still doesn't feel like the holidays but! I am having fun nontheless. And even though Christmas eve was a lot different than it was last year, I had all the right kind of fun and in the perfect amount. And I used to get so disappointed when it came to opening gifts, like a little spoiled brat. Like my hopes were too high or something so I'd let myself down when I got what I did. But this year, I was more than satisfied. Even though what I'd gotten wasn't like the best thing in the world and everyone would be jealous of me or anything, but yeah. Anyyyway.

We spent it at my uncle Jun's house this year rather than grandma's or tita Mayette's. And he's always had the most inappropriate movies for events that took place at his house. This year it was some Japanese/Western remix directed by Tarantino. Yeah, don't ask me. So after a while I guess he got the hint because he changed the dvd and put in a concert dvd thing of David Foster and "friends". Oh my, well I fell in love with Michael Buble all over again. No, I don't care that he's got a stupid double chin, that man is sexy. And Charice Pempengco was in it! Can you believe? This little girl from the P.I. was invited by David Foster to sing in his concert. Haha, that girl makes me jealous. Not only does she have the vocals but she was in the same venue as my baby Michael was at the same time. Ha! Anyway, if you don't know who either of them are, I say you go check them out. Katherine McPhee was in it too. Is that how you spell it? Whatevs. But yeah, she's hot! Except her boobs are gettin' kinda saggy, we've decided. And Josh Grobin looks like a Jonas brother.

Someone give me some voice lessons!
Merry christmas again (:

completely irrelevant

But that is some good advice.

p.s.!

Here's my wish list. Just in case you were wondering (;


Sephora.
Because I've developed some sort of fetish.


Sephora's Vanilla Cupcake Body Butter $16.


Benefit's Dr. Feelgood Lipscription $32


Benefit's Dr. Feelgood $28


Benefit's Realness Of Concealness $32


Mac.
To continue with my newborn fetish.


Nail Lacquer in Dark Angel $11




Tinted Lip Conditioner SPF 15 in Gentle Coral or Plum Perfect. $14.50




Lip Conditioner SPF15 $13.50.



Eh, more later. Toodles!

aw man

Why do I always lose my stupid hair tie? Okay, maybe not always, considering I've been able to keep it around me since like october, but I can never find another one. Anyway, does anyone else feel like this break's gonna be unsatisfactory? Like there's so much I want to do but I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to. I think we were supposed to go to dance today but I've been going out a little much, I'm not going to deny it. I need to choose my events better and although I've gone to the ones where the people mean more to me, I didn't really have as much fun as I hoped to. I'm guessing 'cause my hopes were real high. Whatevs.

Who knew wrapping presents could be so fun? Haha, and Yvette has become my new favorite person. Ever since "Oh, my God, open it. Oh, my God, Oh, my God that's so you!" Melanie and I have decided to let her come over for a little rendevous and do some bonding over Click and Hip Hop Abs with Shaun T. Ahh, I need to get started on organizing some movie nights. I miss those most about my winter breaks. But I've lost and gained so many different friends, I'm scared that they'll be so unsuccessful. But! Then again, I have more friends who can actually commit and follow through on making it, yeah you know.

So it's already Christmas Eve tomorrow. Tell me why I don't feel like it is. I feel so scrooge saying that, haha. Que ever.



Happy Holidays!

"you need to step it up"

fuuuuuuck.
i'm real happy about finals being over and all but practice today was a major killjoy. i wanted to like cry and argue and all that stupid shit.

but! on a happier note, i've been driving to school (:
i really do hope tonight brings me something to smile about.
and tomorrow, you should go help out dance team and let us wrap your gifts for tips! trader joe's on san fernando & balboa (;
sunday, i hope i go! i miss the kids in atwater.



happy break!

"here comes the cold

break out the winter clothes
and find a love to call your own."





but it's always so easy for john mayer. not exactly for the rest of us *ahem.
boo hoo, sob sob. hahahaha.

why why why

do i always speak so so so soon.


this has been the most eventful december. or at least beginning of december. i haven't had to deal with so much in my whole life more than i have this year.
ay yai yai,
screwing up, lauren!

oh hey;

nice haircut,

HAHA! you're really pathetic. i mean i was thinking it before but you just proved me right, thanks. (;
and you really do look like a little dog going from friend to friend 'cause nobody has respect for you anymore. oh, poor you. not. when is it going to get into that pretty little head of yours that the shit you do doesn't work for anyone. whatever, you're not worth anythinggg.




p.s. it looks better on me. <3

talent show 2008

bittersweet, you're gonna be the death of me.



"queen dream"
specialty dance, open of act I






with you - finis, joe, josh, philip











cool from west side story - dance team











summer time - dance choreography












more later!

bittersweet;

last football game was tonight.

i really do wish i made more of my high school years.
but on the other hand, it was a lot of fun. so overwhelming and not to mention, being surrounded by some of the most good looking guys at ghchs wasn't so bad either.



edit;
oh my, this would be my horoscope.

Gemini Horoscopes
(May 21 - Jun 20)
Saturday, Nov 15th, 2008 -- You could feel as if you have run out of time, yet there are still so many things you haven't done yet. But this isn't about endings; it's about starting whatever comes next. Stop looking back into the past; you can't change it now. Instead, turn around and take notice of what's ahead on the path of life. Here's where your work begins.

come on, homie, i major.

i can't control it, can't hold it, it's so nuts.





haha you like how this has nothing to do with me. (:


P.S.!

ghchs talent show!

When? November 21, 2008 @ 7pm.
Where? Highlander Hall.
How much? $8. Buy at the student store or from any performing arts student. like me (:
Why? Uh, it's pretty much the most legit high school talent show in the valley. And plus, I'm in it like four times so you know it's gonna be good. (;


you should make me a sign! "lauren is my best friend!" ;D

just 'cause.

Ten things you wish you could say to ten different people right now:
1.) i hope you see how karma's gotten to you, big time. i warned you. i hate to be the one to say "i told you so" but whaddya know, you're slippin'!
2.) why'd you have to be so cute? and so freaking sweet. i didn't want to look at you like that, handsome, but it happens.
3.) i wish we didn't drift. i mean i know it hasn't happened completely yet but i feel it falling apart. i hate missing you and i hate that it's so hard to see each other often. you have no idea how often i think of you, it kills me.
4.) aw, we just got close again. i'm sorry if i did anything to make it weird again, but whatever. it's always been a little awkward between us, i'm just glad we can talk again.
5.) i love love love you. i do wish we spent more time together though. you're probably the only guy i could really just call up and have a decent conversation with without any weird silences or anything.
6.) you're my favorite wingchick, love you!
7.) i feel bad for you,i do. but don't use me as a person just fill in her void or anything. i'm not her and i'm glad. there are other people out there, don't sulk around in the memory of what could have been.
8.) haha, i love you but you just kinda ruin things sometimes, haha. not on a major scale or anything, it's just funny.
9.) honesty. you should try it.
10.) i've always had a tiny crush on you. hahaha.


Nine things people should know about you:
1.) i'm not into the whole crying deal.
2.) i really do hate fighting. even if you've done something real shady to me, i'll probably forgive you.
3.) i hate hate hate awkward.
4.) i dance every chance i get. and arman would agree, i can dance well.
5.) i care too much, it's a bad bad bad habit. i get real frustrated with it too.
6.) i wish i could accept change more easily.
7.) i'll introduce myself to you when it's appropriate.
8.) i wish i could sing! teach me!
9.) i'm pretty funny, haha. you just gotta see.


Eight ways to win your heart:
1.) make me laugh. a sense of humor's gonna win anyone's heart.
2.) dance with me, i can't stand wallflowers.
3.) surprise me. in a good way of course, aha.
4.) i like when i can be trusted.
5.) confidence is always sexyyy.
6.) if you know what's good for you, i know you'll know what's good for me.
7.) i need to trust you too.
8.) and yeah, if you can do something real well. if you have something you really care about.. yeah.


Seven awesome movies:
1.) chicago.
2.) garden state.
3.) saw I, II, III, IV, V
4.) v for vendetta.
5.) click.
6.) zoolander!
7.) wanted.

Six things you do before you fall asleep:
1.) shower
2.) put my hair in a bun.
3.) think about what to wear the next day.
4.) brush them teeth.
5.) wash my face agaaain.
6.) charge my ipod.


Five people who mean a lot:
1.) family, even that's more than one person.
2.) aaron manuel.
3.) jerwyn tiu.
4.) melanie gay girl manzano. (;
5.) bernice rivera.


Four things you dont like:
1.) untrustworthy people, bad friends.
2.) grammatical errors.
3.) lies.
4.) not knowing what to do.


Three things you like:
1.) dancing.
2.) laughing.
3.) sleeping.


Two things you want to do before you die:
1.) buy my parents a house.
2.) go shopping with my grandkids.


One confession:

1.) i have to pee, real bad. right now. ahahahaha

anticipating

the new csi that's on tonight, haha. okay, so i don't write in this real often but whatever. the past couple of weeks have been so gay, you don't need to know about them. i didn't take any pictures at homecoming, can you believe? the game nor the dance. whatever, they were both wackkk. well for me, at least, haha. um tell me why everytime i try to make plans, i'm never available weekends until the next month. it's annoying. not that i'm complaining too much or anything, because i enjoy being busy, i do. it's just sometimes i want to just go out on a weekend and dance dance dance. oh well.

"here comes the cold,
break out the winter clothes
and find a love to call your own."

it's getting colder! ay yai yai, it's already christmas time. senior year is going by so so so fast. i hate it! there was that sign i read a couple weeks ago "30 weeks left for seniors, how about you?" what the heck. only thirty. i mean, it's not even thirty anymore. it's like 25. ugh. there's so much i gotta do.

this weekend:
friday - chatsworth hc game, sleepover melanie's.
saturday - comp. team practice, hsm3, st. gen hc game, lindsay?
sunday - aaron!
and somehow find a way to fit in finishing trig homework and the rough draft to smith's essay.

next weekend:
friday - football game vs. chatsworth.
saturday - booksale, fall rally, fairfax hc?
sunday - free! woop.

nov. 17-21
monday - act one tech/dress rehearsals.
wednesday - act two tech/dress rehearsals.
thursday - talent show rehearsals, previews.
friday - talent show.

yeah, the talent show's coming up quick! buy your tickets soon! they sell out fasssst! i'm not even joking though. you can buy a ticket from me, any of mrs. taylor's students, or the student store for eight bucks. it'll be exciting!

that is gonna be one hell of a week. i'm in like four dances -_- greaaat. hahaha.


k, i'm done. csi's coming up, g'night!

senior day

cool cool cool



foam machine monster, melanie. jk (;



why do you fight over foam, kids?



hahaha, mvp!



cute cute cute.





water balloon toss



swimmming!



hahahaha.



cutest couple ever.



ian, the giant.



sucks for you if you didn't go! i had a ridiculous amount of fun. actually, that's a lie. haha i had fun, but it wasn't thatfun, sorry slc. anywayyy. who knew slip n slide could be so much fun? minus the falling in the mud part. and why do people fight over foam? serrriously. boys & girls, don't have sex in the mud, please. it's not sanitary, your mother taught you better.

confused?

you shouldn't be. hm, i don't see how you can't find the similarities between what you did and what a certain someone else did. i've forgiven you not once, not twice, but three times. and the saddest part is you take what we give you and throw it away. you're still doing it. do you think we're stupid? hello. i wasn't born yesterday. i know a bad friend when i see one. is it because you don't think you're doing anything wrong? um, how would your boyfriend feel about this? and don't start saying that you weren't because it's not only me who noticed, i should remind you. so you keep doing what you're doing. i'm definitely not going to be a part of that. i'm not going to set myself up for that bs again. and was it really necessary to go tell him? i bet you manipulated the story in your favor too. i mean not only did you cost me my chances with him, not only did you hurt my feelings, but i just lost a friend because of you. so are you still confused? or do i seriously need to spell it out for you again. maybe this time we can have the conversation in front of everyone. 'cause obviously you're too hard headed to get the picture when we confront you privately. maybe it'll actually open your eyes. there's a reason why people call you names when we go around the spot. it's not a joke anymore. we both know that's not what you wanna come across as so stop being so careless with everyone's feelings except for your own. thanks.

new start.

i'm trying. i promise, i am.

things just kinda came down on me all at once. and it's almost like the more i tell myself i can get through this, something else just has to happen. "God is just testing me" yeah well i've been enduring a lot of this bs for quite some time now and i've gone to Him and i've even prayed for those who offend me but i'm still in this rut.


it's okay, i'm okay, it'll be okay.
when? i don't like feeling bad. and i feel like i've lost touch with all my real good friends. i miss teri, i miss jerwyn, i miss tiffany, i miss aaron, i miss nairi. nowadays, i feel like i'm walking on eggshells with all of them and i hate it because all i want is to vent and have them tell me it's going to be okay because it's most reassuring when i hear it from them. when we were close, i felt stable and all that. things happen, people change but i hate change and i don' t know what to do with it. "it is in changing that we find purpose." i can't see it, i'm sorry i'm trying to be as open minded as i can be and i just don't see how that works.


again,
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things i cannot change
the courage to change the things i can
and the wisdom to know the difference.

it's okay.